this is totally, unacceptable physics!
Its totally IMPOSSIBLE, even WITH portals! :((...sadly

bullshit

put one portal on a movable wall

put the other portal on another

put your ass against one portal and start moving the mobile wall and BAM YOU SIR ARE FUCKING YOURSELF

Except you cant use portals on moving surfaces :(

YOU'RE RUINING MY FANTASY

lol, i gotta admit though, it would be cool

Go into a REALLY tight hallway, or the smallest nook you can find. One portal on each wall...drop the pants and you put "Go Fuck Yourself" to a literal meaning x3

However as soon as you thrust forward, your butt moves away, it is impossible to fuck your self with portals unless a portal is on a moving surface.

Science!

Two words. Right-mother-fuckin'-angle. One on the floor, one on the wall, and a simple rotation of the hips can achieve the same effects.

Science!

O_O WoW.... Never thought of using portals that way...

Now you're thinking with Portals!!

I'm not sure if I should be aroused by the self-buttsex or intrigued by the science. Hmm...

I think I'll be aroused then intrigued, then aroused again.

...phisically impossible...though...arousing...

If only it was possible... I would have spendt my time fucking... oops...

if you were in a hallway tight enough where you can't get a erection without the portal then its instafuck

pru said:
this is totally, unacceptable physics!
Its totally IMPOSSIBLE, even WITH portals! :((...sadly

actualy it is using the logic of verix there it is possible to use a moving wall. You see in the game i have shot a portal onto a moving hydrolic platform ones that angle to shoot you farther. (fast thing in fast thing out lol) And therefor maybe not movible wall but one on a piston. Well sir there is fucking yourself.

maybe the portal is not a time portal but instead is a different dimension portal where he is indeed fucking himself but in a another parallel reality. or you can make the portal to be a little forward in time so that maybe that way when your move back your cock would be penetrating your ass cause the other you will be going forward... a other thing you can try... but I'm no scientist its just an idea...

maybe the portal is not a time portal but instead is a different dimension portal where he is indeed fucking himself but in a another parallel reality. or you can make the portal to be a little forward in time so that maybe that way when your move back your cock would be penetrating your ass cause the other you will be going forward... a other thing you can try... but I'm no scientist its just an idea...

Certainly, no need for a back scratchier. That would be the day! :D
Ogami is a cool guy to have drawn this. Now if I decide to beat portal, I'll have something to talk about while I play it.

I love how every is discussing the plausibility of this. XD

*Brain asplodes from comments

WHY IS EVERYBODY YAPPING AND BITCHING ABOUT PHYSICS. GAMI IS FUCKING HIMSELF WITH A VIDEO GAME TOOL. You all should just shut the fuck up and fap it. Take it to the forums to discuss retarded possibilities.

I say... JUST MOVE THE FUCKING PORTAL IF YOU CANT MOVE THE WALL... Just make one partal go up and down your cock while moving your hips towards the one in your back... and there you go your fucking yourself...

Actually if you look closely,he's not thrusting forward but instead he's grabbing his hips and pulling his ass trough the back portal,onto his cock in the front portal.so it's not his cock that passes trough the portal,It's his ass.

damn nek0gami's crazy...but i love their art.

Well....Least its not labeled gay, because this is totally masturbation

oh shit xD

I would SSOOOoOO, do that! Now were did I put that gun?(looks around on the ground)

ONE DAY IN THE FUTURE THIS WILL BE POSSIBLE AND I WILL NEVER LEAVE MY HOUSE AGAIN!

put one portal on ground and one in front figure out the rest

Dreaded-Warrior said:
Actually if you look closely,he's not thrusting forward but instead he's grabbing his hips and pulling his ass trough the back portal,onto his cock in the front portal.so it's not his cock that passes trough the portal,It's his ass.

That...doesn't make any difference to if it would work.

just put the portal on the inside of your pants the undue your zipper and go at it

Lennox said:
WHY IS EVERYBODY YAPPING AND BITCHING ABOUT PHYSICS. GAMI IS FUCKING HIMSELF WITH A VIDEO GAME TOOL. You all should just shut the fuck up and fap it. Take it to the forums to discuss retarded possibilities.

best comment ever for this one

GO FUCK YORSELF there someone said it x3 btw i want a portle gun now

msc said:
Except you cant use portals on moving surfaces :(

Bullcrap. The earth itself is moving, albeit we are not aware of it, so thus, all walls and places on earth on constant in motion. Take THAT science. Now back to fapping...

Level000 said:
Bullcrap. The earth itself is moving, albeit we are not aware of it, so thus, all walls and places on earth on constant in motion. Take THAT science. Now back to fapping...

FOR FUCKS SAKE ITS JUST A VIDEO GAME PORN PIC PEOPLE NO NEED FOR 3 PAGES OF FIGHTING OVER THE LOGIC >.<

HowlingWolf said:
Two words. Right-mother-fuckin'-angle. One on the floor, one on the wall, and a simple rotation of the hips can achieve the same effects.

Science!

BAM! Someone actually drew it: http://e621.net/post/show/93842/2010-anal-anal_penetration-balls-big_breasts-breas

....Ive heard the phrase "go fuck yourself" but this is rediculous

Portals can be used on moving surfaces. Why? BECAUSE THE EARTH IS MOVING CONSTANTLY.

Now you're thinking with portals!

play portal two, there's a few instances of portals on moving surfaces.

as of portal 2 a portal can survive on a moving surface

Simple answer:
1. Turn on the cheat that lets you put portals anywhere.
2. Find a narrow place.
3. ...
4. Profit! (aka Screw self)

...Also, if you had two people, one could be fucking the other directly, and when he moves back, the other is fucking him through the portal!

Is this awesome? (Y/N)

Salo_Vorita said:
Simple answer:
1. Turn on the cheat that lets you put portals anywhere.
2. Find a narrow place.
3. ...
4. Profit! (aka Screw self)

...Also, if you had two people, one could be fucking the other directly, and when he moves back, the other is fucking him through the portal!

Is this awesome? (Y/N)

N because when your hips move your dick would AND your ass.. meaning it would probably just be stuck in there without movement.

LatinGeek said:
Portals can be used on moving surfaces. Why? BECAUSE THE EARTH IS MOVING CONSTANTLY.

No, the thing is: Portal CAN move through space and survive, they just can't accelerate/deccelerate without breaking their relative spacial link.

timhouse said:
play portal two, there's a few instances of portals on moving surfaces.

As far as the campaign goes, it seems that portals CAN indeed move on X and Y axis without collapsing, but it's never shown with Z-axis.
If we now consider gameplay mechanics, it appears that portals cannot let atoms go through them while moving, only photons.

DarkNek0Gami said:
To those saying the 'movements' would be impossible: Right now you're probably sitting in a chair. If you are of the male gender, imagine you have someone riding you in your lap... does your rear move when you thrust up? Nope. That movement doesn't come close to how frigg'n hard a 3 way is by compairison.

This could make sense if your pelvis wasn't using your butt to propel itself up, which gives the illusion of immobility, but in fact only using your fat to get some room for movement while avoiding friction. And even if it DID work, you probably wouldn't be able to move far enough to actually get off.

So no matter how you can explain it, this image makes NO SENSE AT ALL.

I think of this ALL the time X3 glad someone made a pix of it

Now for the real question:
Is this gay, or masturbation?

"..........(wispers to person sitting next to him) they do know that porn is not soposed to make 100% sense right?"

Technically this could be possible, all you would need are moving platforms (I know that the portals would most Likely break but let be reasonable... How much porn on this site actually makes sense.) and a way on how not to move your lower half of your body without blocking said ass or dick. Then bam self fuck machine..... Or you could possible just suck/eat yourself out depending on your gender with just a very small room/hallway.

GO FUCK YOUR SELF .... ou you doing it so .... KEEP GOING

msc said:
Except you cant use portals on moving surfaces :(

Ahem.. White Gel?

Fuck myself ok :-) :-D :-P

Put a portal on the floor, and one on the wall in front of you. Lay on your stomach, hump the floor, yaaay.

Atomizer said:
Put a portal on the floor, and one on the wall in front of you. Lay on your stomach, hump the floor, yaaay.

That is indeed a good idea.

Atomizer said:
Put a portal on the floor, and one on the wall in front of you. Lay on your stomach, hump the floor, yaaay.

Jeroen said:
That is indeed a good idea.

Better idea, put 1 portal on the wall low enough for a dick, then put the other portal high up around where your head is, now you can suck your own cock. Now thats sucking with portals :D

Potal is a video game, about fake science.

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOLB!
STOP TAKING THE INTERNET SO
SERIOUSLY!

wastedsmiley said:
Ill have to mark the creation of a literal portal gun on my list of things I shall attempt to accomplish during my upcoming scientific career. just to piss off people on porn forums by disproving their scientific theories.

Spacewolf19 said:
"..........(wispers to person sitting next to him) they do know that porn is not soposed to make 100% sense right?"

Technically this could be possible, all you would need are moving platforms (I know that the portals would most Likely break but let be reasonable... How much porn on this site actually makes sense.) and a way on how not to move your lower half of your body without blocking said ass or dick. Then bam self fuck machine..... Or you could possible just suck/eat yourself out depending on your gender with just a very small room/hallway.

ElAcechador said:
No, the thing is: Portal CAN move through space and survive, they just can't accelerate/deccelerate without breaking their relative spacial link.

As far as the campaign goes, it seems that portals CAN indeed move on X and Y axis without collapsing, but it's never shown with Z-axis.
If we now consider gameplay mechanics, it appears that portals cannot let atoms go through them while moving, only photons.

This could make sense if your pelvis wasn't using your butt to propel itself up, which gives the illusion of immobility, but in fact only using your fat to get some room for movement while avoiding friction. And even if it DID work, you probably wouldn't be able to move far enough to actually get off.

So no matter how you can explain it, this image makes NO SENSE AT ALL.

ElAcechador said:
No, the thing is: Portal CAN move through space and survive, they just can't accelerate/deccelerate without breaking their relative spacial link.

As far as the campaign goes, it seems that portals CAN indeed move on X and Y axis without collapsing, but it's never shown with Z-axis.
If we now consider gameplay mechanics, it appears that portals cannot let atoms go through them while moving, only photons.

This could make sense if your pelvis wasn't using your butt to propel itself up, which gives the illusion of immobility, but in fact only using your fat to get some room for movement while avoiding friction. And even if it DID work, you probably wouldn't be able to move far enough to actually get off.

So no matter how you can explain it, this image makes NO SENSE AT ALL.

Salo_Vorita said:
Simple answer:
1. Turn on the cheat that lets you put portals anywhere.
2. Find a narrow place.
3. ...
4. Profit! (aka Screw self)

...Also, if you had two people, one could be fucking the other directly, and when he moves back, the other is fucking him through the portal!

Is this awesome? (Y/N)

Rykah said:
Only portals moving in the direction of gravity. For instance:
- when you severed the neurotoxin tubes, the portals were moving towards the Earth's core
- on the Moon, gravity is less, it wouldn't affect portal motion

Level000 said:
Bullcrap. The earth itself is moving, albeit we are not aware of it, so thus, all walls and places on earth on constant in motion. Take THAT science. Now back to fapping...

Fedack said:
I say... JUST MOVE THE FUCKING PORTAL IF YOU CANT MOVE THE WALL... Just make one partal go up and down your cock while moving your hips towards the one in your back... and there you go your fucking yourself...

Fedack said:
I say... JUST MOVE THE FUCKING PORTAL IF YOU CANT MOVE THE WALL... Just make one partal go up and down your cock while moving your hips towards the one in your back... and there you go your fucking yourself...

Dreaded-Warrior said:
Actually if you look closely,he's not thrusting forward but instead he's grabbing his hips and pulling his ass trough the back portal,onto his cock in the front portal.so it's not his cock that passes trough the portal,It's his ass.

Lennox said:
WHY IS EVERYBODY YAPPING AND BITCHING ABOUT PHYSICS. GAMI IS FUCKING HIMSELF WITH A VIDEO GAME TOOL. You all should just shut the fuck up and fap it. Take it to the forums to discuss retarded possibilities.

Cschive said:
Certainly, no need for a back scratchier. That would be the day! :D
Ogami is a cool guy to have drawn this. Now if I decide to beat portal, I'll have something to talk about while I play it.

thecooler said:
maybe the portal is not a time portal but instead is a different dimension portal where he is indeed fucking himself but in a another parallel reality. or you can make the portal to be a little forward in time so that maybe that way when your move back your cock would be penetrating your ass cause the other you will be going forward... a other thing you can try... but I'm no scientist its just an idea...

Puppetmaster said:
actualy it is using the logic of verix there it is possible to use a moving wall. You see in the game i have shot a portal onto a moving hydrolic platform ones that angle to shoot you farther. (fast thing in fast thing out lol) And therefor maybe not movible wall but one on a piston. Well sir there is fucking yourself.

thecooler said:
maybe the portal is not a time portal but instead is a different dimension portal where he is indeed fucking himself but in a another parallel reality. or you can make the portal to be a little forward in time so that maybe that way when your move back your cock would be penetrating your ass cause the other you will be going forward... a other thing you can try... but I'm no scientist its just an idea...

Everybody, don't worry. I come from the world of science. This is indeed possible, just not this way. And yes, without moving portals. By the way, they can move as much as they want, as long as they move relative to each other. Ex. They can both go one foot left, at the same time.
So, it's simple. You need two walls at a 45 degree angle, each with portals on them. Then you simply go up and down. Though this is labor intensive.
\=D( /
\=(/
Where =D = 8===D and ( = butt
You're welcome.

Well, so much for spacebar.
\=D(./
.\=(/
Eh, you get it.

msc said:
Except you cant use portals on moving surfaces :(

Ooh, yes you can.
http://youtu.be/GN5lVynqRGM?t=1m50s

Of course, i'm assuming this comment was made before portal 2.

put one portal on a chair and the other on a low table and then go to town.......

Can't we all just spend a second to consider that the portal in the picture is misplaced, since it's floating in midair?
Portals can't be opened neither in air nor on glass surfaces!
Also, the blue portal is slightly smaller than the orange.
I could consider that as an attempt to perspective, tough the distance between the two objects is too small to even justify that loss of surface. Therefore, assuming the blue portal as smaller, everything that comes out of the orange portal is magnified, and this results in a loss of density which would determine an high risk of failure of his entire system.
So, in other terms, this situation is in fact intriguing, and needs some testing. The results of the test could be either a way to increase volume easily or an unsatisfactory mark on the test report, followed by death.

>_> people, stop, please... don't you know how does magic work?

It is obviously a magic done based on the 'portal phenomenon', so it has its rules and that :P

verix said:
YOU'RE RUINING MY FANTASY

In fact, Everyone's has been ruined.
Mine too.

11/10 would finger myself with portals again

0.0 wow, the fact you guys are having this conversation is causing me to die with laughter!

zeron said:
just put the portal on the inside of your pants the undue your zipper and go at it

Kinda like this?
post #314152

I'm just glad I'm not the only person who's thought of this.

Nottelling said:
GO FUCK YOUR SELF .... ou you doing it so .... KEEP GOING

The feeling when someone says, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!"

Since a thrust to push the dick deeper also leads to the ass moving away from the dick, it seems there's no way to do it with stationary portals.

That still leaves blowjobs, eating your own ass, etc.
Holy crap am I hard right now, think about that.

This site needs more physics majors

Why people think it's impossible? It's yet just not tested. Portal 3 and we have movable walls for portals, maybe?

the orange portal is slighty higher then the blue portal