Topic: Quitting Porn

Recently, I have been feeling a bit guilty about myself, and I think porn is the issue. There is nothing wrong about this site and the community that comes with it is awesome, but the underlying implications of my habits are degrading.

Anybody else feel the same way? I’m just trying to live a healthy lifestyle. Need some advice and honestly some people to talk to about this issue. :)

In all honesty, with almost 20 years of looking at porn, it is slowly degrading my mind. Even though I'm getting sex now, the real thing doesn't feel very enjoyable. All of these years have desensitized my sex drive.

that_guy94720 said:
Recently, I have been feeling a bit guilty about myself, and I think porn is the issue. There is nothing wrong about this site and the community that comes with it is awesome, but the underlying implications of my habits are degrading.

Anybody else feel the same way? I’m just trying to live a healthy lifestyle. Need some advice and honestly some people to talk to about this issue. :)

If you feel that porn is severely impacting your personal life, there is nothing wrong with putting it all aside and focusing on improving yourself.

Actively acknowledging that it is degrading your lifestyle is just the first step, but you would have to continue taking steps to avoid relapsing back.
Try to stop all of the usual "habits" that come with porn, including the obvious things as well as unconscious behaviours like idle browsing or fantasising.
Take this newfound free time that you had once spent on porn do to something productive, or if you have been using porn as a coping mechanism, finding a more healthy alternative.

thegreatwolfgang said:
If you feel that porn is severely impacting your personal life, there is nothing wrong with putting it all aside and focusing on improving yourself.

Actively acknowledging that it is degrading your lifestyle is just the first step, but you would have to continue taking steps to avoid relapsing back.
Try to stop all of the usual "habits" that come with porn, including the obvious things as well as unconscious behaviours like idle browsing or fantasising.
Take this newfound free time that you had once spent on porn do to something productive, or if you have been using porn as a coping mechanism, finding a more healthy alternative.

At the beginning, I did use it as a coping mechanism due to high social anxiety in my 20s. Then it evolved into a habit. I am trying to find activities to do to keep my mind preoccupied. I've realized having an idle mind would be bad.

And yet here I am, an avid commenter lol

that_guy94720 said:
Anybody else feel the same way? I’m just trying to live a healthy lifestyle. Need some advice and honestly some people to talk to about this issue. :)

Not really, no. My life hasn't been negatively impacted by porn; in fact I'd say it's had a positive impact on me, it's very freeing. I've found myself and my best friends through it. If you find porn to be the only thing you have to do and think about though, I recommend finding some hobbies too, as you may just be bored. Keeping your mind sharp is a matter of keeping yourself busy and thinking. I draw gay furry porn yeah, but it's not my only hobby. I tinker with old computers/electronics and old video game systems too. I do a lot of technical stuff both as my job and on the side for fun, a lot of which requires me to learn about complex things and problem-solve.

colinthelucario said:
In all honesty, with almost 20 years of looking at porn, it is slowly degrading my mind. Even though I'm getting sex now, the real thing doesn't feel very enjoyable. All of these years have desensitized my sex drive.

This also just happens as you get older as well, independent of looking at porn- and given the timespan you mentioned it's certainly possible. Also get your hormones checked out at a doctor.

Personally, I don't think it's porn that's the problem. Porn is like any other art; it's only as positive and negative as the beholder perceives it. However, you've changed over time. What porn did for you in your past isn't necessarily what it does for you now. Which is fine. We all change. The real problem is that our relationship with interests we used to have can become stale, but we fail to recognize that and get stuck in a rut. This happens all the time and not just with porn. It's called a mid-life crisis.

That you recognize there's a problem is a great thing. It gives you an idea of what changes you might need to make in your life to feel better. The power to change is entirely within yourself. If porn isn't doing it for you anymore, there's no shame in recognizing that and moving on to something else that does. Change your thoughts, and you change your world.

(As MkLXIV points out, it also doesn't hurt to keep on top of your physical health as well. Physical, mental, and emotional health are all interrelated.)

Good luck.

Same situation here, my man. I'm also looking for guidence with this so I'd also apriciate any advice. Stay strong, brother!

Thanks a lot guys. Keep the replies coming they are reassuring to read!

that_guy94720 said:
Thanks a lot guys. Keep the replies coming they are reassuring to read!

If you need to get away from porn, have you tried NoFap? It can be a bit of a challenge to do, and relapses are allowed. As long as you try again. I had been a part of their community for a few years, and they have helped bring my urges way down to a tolerable level.

colinthelucario said:
If you need to get away from porn, have you tried NoFap? It can be a bit of a challenge to do, and relapses are allowed. As long as you try again. I had been a part of their community for a few years, and they have helped bring my urges way down to a tolerable level.

No but will look into it thanks

colinthelucario said:
If you need to get away from porn, have you tried NoFap? It can be a bit of a challenge to do, and relapses are allowed. As long as you try again. I had been a part of their community for a few years, and they have helped bring my urges way down to a tolerable level.

I have been told that NoFap takes things to an extreme and makes certain claims that are not true.

If it's making you less healthy than it's making you healthy, stop using it

thegreatwolfgang said:
I have been told that NoFap takes things to an extreme and makes certain claims that are not true.

I wouldn't trust that 'article'. It also makes claims that are not true. Porn addiction is a real thing.

kyiiel said:
I wouldn't trust that 'article'. It also makes claims that are not true. Porn addiction is a real thing.

There's a difference between "porn addiction" and "addiction to porn". That is, the former implies there's something inherent to porn that is addicting, like tobacco or certain drugs, while the latter is looking at addiction behavior that happens to involve porn, but could've been something else were circumstances different without changing the porn itself. For example. some people have an addiction with fantasy escapism, perhaps something in their life causing them to shut out the outside world and create an overwhelming need to engage in fantasy escapism to the detriment of their mental and physical health. Does that make "fantasy addiction" or "escapism addiction" a real thing, or is it more addiction that happens to involve fantasy escapism? It could've just as well been exercise or sleep or any other activity that helps get their mind off their problems, but regardless of what it ended up being, they get so focused on it that it harms their health. Anything can become an addiction in the right circumstance to the right person, but the discussion around "porn addiction" is whether porn itself is inherently addictive.

that_guy94720 said:
Recently, I have been feeling a bit guilty about myself, and I think porn is the issue. There is nothing wrong about this site and the community that comes with it is awesome, but the underlying implications of my habits are degrading.

Anybody else feel the same way? I’m just trying to live a healthy lifestyle. Need some advice and honestly some people to talk to about this issue. :)

I don't think porn is inherently bad, just like any drug or activity. However, I do believe that we ultimately develop coping mechanisms that do us more harm than good and porn is an easy escape for many individuals. If you think that you have an unhealthy dependence on porn and use it to relieve boredom, anxiety, stress, rejection, etc. then it's okay to take a step back and reduce or even temporarily cut yourself off from it. However, much like anything worth committing to, you need to be proactive and cognizant of your thoughts and actions. Otherwise, it is easy to relapse and turn to old habits, as they will feel comfortable and "normal," especially during the initial days, weeks, and months that you're trying to control your porn consumption. The thoughts will creep up in your mind in the most inopportune times, and that is likely one of the more difficult aspects of being aware of your thoughts, because you have to have the discipline to overcome them even at your lowest points. But give yourself grace, everyone falters and it becomes another opportunity to try again.

One of the things that helped with my marijuana use, aside from abstaining from it, is putting myself in the uncomfortable position of being bored and alone with my own thoughts. I think this gives you a chance to really prioritize what you want to do, whether that be exercise, reading, playing a video game, or being with a friend-anything other than behavior you're trying to change. After that, you have to commit to it and do it.

But take this with a grain of salt. What works for me may not work for you, but trying is the most important part of all this. You can spend all day ruminating, but you got to put action into your words and thoughts.

Good luck!

colinthelucario said:
If you need to get away from porn, have you tried NoFap? It can be a bit of a challenge to do, and relapses are allowed. As long as you try again. I had been a part of their community for a few years, and they have helped bring my urges way down to a tolerable level.

Careful with that, NoFap is organized by prudes in disguise, the "benefits" are made up for the most part.

mklxiv said:
Careful with that, NoFap is organized by prudes in disguise, the "benefits" are made up for the most part.

I left the community sometime last year. I figured it was going to be impossible for me to give it up completely. Plus I hear that stopping masturbation entirely is detrimental to one's health. It would explain why I see most people posting about having 'superhuman' abilities. I made it to 3 whole months, and all I've noticed was my voice got a little deeper.

Can't say that I do. It is a vice, but if life taught me anything, is that everyone is high on something. Alcohol, caffeine, the usual drugs, adrenaline, social media... In fact, there was a time I was addicted to social media, and that was severely unhealthy to me. It's all about finding what really makes you tick while not indulging in it too much so that it becomes harmful to you or those around you.

Best of luck if you need the "detox" though! I do recommend being careful about the process though, some methods are as unhealthy (or potentially more) than the vice itself.

haoss said:
Can't say that I do. It is a vice, but if life taught me anything, is that everyone is high on something. Alcohol, caffeine, the usual drugs, adrenaline, social media... In fact, there was a time I was addicted to social media, and that was severely unhealthy to me. It's all about finding what really makes you tick while not indulging in it too much so that it becomes harmful to you or those around you.

Best of luck if you need the "detox" though! I do recommend being careful about the process though, some methods are as unhealthy (or potentially more) than the vice itself.

Oh trust me, social media is toxic lol. I've only been on Facebook and Reddit, and those users just worsened my depression to the point where I HAD to leave altogether.

mklxiv said:
Not really, no. My life hasn't been negatively impacted by porn; in fact I'd say it's had a positive impact on me, it's very freeing. I've found myself and my best friends through it. If you find porn to be the only thing you have to do and think about though, I recommend finding some hobbies too, as you may just be bored. Keeping your mind sharp is a matter of keeping yourself busy and thinking. I draw gay furry porn yeah, but it's not my only hobby. I tinker with old computers/electronics and old video game systems too. I do a lot of technical stuff both as my job and on the side for fun, a lot of which requires me to learn about complex things and problem-solve.

This also just happens as you get older as well, independent of looking at porn- and given the timespan you mentioned it's certainly possible. Also get your hormones checked out at a doctor.

Strangely enough, I also found a lot of my good buddies through furry art, yiff and fetish content.

While on this topic, I have to take a long break from porn myself. My body is showing clear signs of sexual fatigue. When I woke up this morning, my left hand was painful, feeling like I sprained it. Now hours later, it feels like severe nerve damage. On top of that, my entire body is aching.

I've never had these symptoms before, but I knew this had to be the reason. My body is saying "I'm tired, boss."

colinthelucario said:
While on this topic, I have to take a long break from porn myself. My body is showing clear signs of sexual fatigue. When I woke up this morning, my left hand was painful, feeling like I sprained it. Now hours later, it feels like severe nerve damage. On top of that, my entire body is aching.

I've never had these symptoms before, but I knew this had to be the reason. My body is saying "I'm tired, boss."

Damn. How old are you? Sub 30 years old?

colinthelucario said:
While on this topic, I have to take a long break from porn myself. My body is showing clear signs of sexual fatigue. When I woke up this morning, my left hand was painful, feeling like I sprained it. Now hours later, it feels like severe nerve damage. On top of that, my entire body is aching.

I've never had these symptoms before, but I knew this had to be the reason. My body is saying "I'm tired, boss."

That sounds mighty painful, and you gotta be doing that a lot for it to hurt like that. I've had a milder version of that from frequent long drawing sessions (>6 hours), though I'm also fairly young. I think the best way to exercise self control with that kind of thing is ween yourself off of it by slowly reducing the amount you partake in it. The way you view it is also a major component.

watsit said:
There's a difference between "porn addiction" and "addiction to porn". That is, the former implies there's something inherent to porn that is addicting, like tobacco or certain drugs, while the latter is looking at addiction behavior that happens to involve porn, but could've been something else were circumstances different without changing the porn itself. For example. some people have an addiction with fantasy escapism, perhaps something in their life causing them to shut out the outside world and create an overwhelming need to engage in fantasy escapism to the detriment of their mental and physical health. Does that make "fantasy addiction" or "escapism addiction" a real thing, or is it more addiction that happens to involve fantasy escapism? It could've just as well been exercise or sleep or any other activity that helps get their mind off their problems, but regardless of what it ended up being, they get so focused on it that it harms their health. Anything can become an addiction in the right circumstance to the right person, but the discussion around "porn addiction" is whether porn itself is inherently addictive.

I think this is the key takeaway from all this discussion on the topic here, I'm personally of the belief that based on what we've seen that yes, pornography is something that you can become addicted to, but unlike chemical addictions (drugs, alcohol, etc.) there isn't a component to porn that grants it any more potential for addiction than other things people can commonly develop an unhealthy attachment to, such as video gaming, shopping/hoarding, or even something that is seen positively like exercise. This is stating the obvious, but like this person there said, what makes an addiction an addiction is not partaking in the activity itself, but the fact that it's being indulged in to a destructive degree and foregoing actual, healthy needs to engage with their addiction.

A relative of mine. some years back, actually participated in a study at a university local to him, where they were examining the genetic component of addiction. Signs from that study and others like it strongly suggests that addiction itself is a quality you can unfortunately be born with; there just exist people out there that are genetically hardwired to latch onto something in their lives to a degree they let it control them. It seems like I'm rambling off topic here but I'm saying this to make a point here, quitting something that has become an addiction for someone may just be putting a bandaid on a much, much deeper psychological issue that requires a deeper amount of care, probably with a medical professional that is equipped to handle it. People with addictive personalities can't just quit their addiction and wash their hands of the matter, that's just the first step.

czyszy said:
Damn. How old are you? Sub 30 years old?

I'm 36

mklxiv said:
That sounds mighty painful, and you gotta be doing that a lot for it to hurt like that. I've had a milder version of that from frequent long drawing sessions (>6 hours), though I'm also fairly young. I think the best way to exercise self control with that kind of thing is ween yourself off of it by slowly reducing the amount you partake in it. The way you view it is also a major component.

A few months ago, I had requested my psychiatrist to get my dosage of meds to the point where they give me the side effect that I previously called 'chemical castration'. I voluntarily wanted this. My sex drive just wouldn't slow down and I needed help to subdue it. Plus, it was making me turn into a monster with all of these releases. We'll, it did its thing, but it couldn't stop me from getting horny. Let's just say I was getting way too determined to finish.

Now that I'm actually getting sex, I'm tapering off this increased dosage to bring my drive back to how it was