Hi...

It's that time of week where I get incredibly depressed about not having friends or ambitions beyond some vague, lonely, far-off goal (and write), but I want to do something about it and be happy for once. So, uh... how can I be happy? (Yes I know it's stupid to ask a forum about such an open-ended and nebulous question but I gotta try)

Hello fellow sad-cat fan. Many things come to mind that I could say, depending on your particular situation. It sounds like you're stressed about your future, if I'm interpreting your post correctly. If that's the case I think one thing that can help is just making a little progress towards your goal each day; even something like reading an article related to your goal could count, cause you'll probably have learned something new. A little bit of effort each day can really add up, and when you know you're making progress towards your goal you'll probably feel better too. As for vagueness (of your goal) I think the only cure is more experience; the more of that that you have the more you'll learn what you like or dislike about your goal and how you might change it (maybe even completely). As for making and maintaining friends it can definitely take a lot of effort, it's easiest to do if you have a group of people that you see on a regular basis (perhaps at work or at school). Try to find some commonality and reach out to someone, maybe you could work together on something, or just chat about something you both have to deal with. Friendships can blossom from simple beginnings.

Hopefully something in the above is of some use to you. If not, well, just know that you're not alone in the slightest. Many people, myself included, have struggled in similar circumstances. And hey, reaching out for help ain't a bad first step in the pursuit of happiness.

lonely_fox_89 said:
words

ok thank you

I'm also trying to do writing commissions for a living as an additional source of income (so far no clients yet). Don't beat yourself up over failures; I've been experiencing countless failures for more than three decades on Earth. Sometimes failure isn't caused by a variable you can control, that is just life.

Most of my older siblings were married with kids by the time they turned 30 but I was the only one who wasn't at that age. Hell, my youngest sibling is younger than most of my nieces and nephews (my dad has a habit of giving me many siblings). The family name will live on just fine without me.... I can't even think straight. Doing things different than the status quo often incurs alienation and scrutiny where I'm from and in my 20's the person I hated the most was myself. I believe in you to make some friends; it all starts with a smile and a handshake, spending decades as an accountant makes one have to interact with people in an office building setting. If there's anything to take away from this greymuzzle: do not let your doubt and self loathing overcome your will, it'll eat at you from the inside-out if you're not careful.

One younger furry and aspiring novelist, MC.Morrado, is a bright young man on the autism spectrum but I will use him as a cautionary example. MC.Morrado over the course of three years has gone from a once somewhat outgoing young man to a very reclusive furry who can't even stand looking at himself in the mirror. He's lost so much weight, going from 201 pounds down to only 143 pounds.... Yet he still sees himself as a fat bastard despite being skin and bone. A constant fear of failure and not wanting to disappoint his own family has taken a toll on the young man's health. Take a healthier path than the self destructive one I've witnessed in MC.Morrado and hopefully you may find happiness in your future. MC.Morrado once told me in-person that he wants to get plastic surgery "So I can look at myself and not hate what I see" in his own words verbatim, including wanting to have his nipples and belly button surgically removed.

There are many good ways to cope with self hatred and depression but there are just as many if not more bad ways of going about it. All I can do is wish you the best in becoming happy again albeit through a healthy non self-destructive manner.

Stop wanting things.

Seriously, that's how you be happy.

Teach yourself to sit alone in an empty space doing nothing and having no thoughts.

Start off with ten seconds per day, then gradually increase over time, at your pace, until you can fill any available time and space without thought or desire.