Heya, I made this topic a while back ago and got
some really interesting feedback, That I should be
happy for other peoples achievements and that I
should focus on myself; that my world ends with
me so my goals should be the only ones that should
matter to me. ╹‿╹)
But.
My blood still runs cold in the wake of the
accomplishments of others, I feel crushed
both mentally and emotionally when I come
across someone who's done so much. Whether
it's romanticly, Artistically, creatively,
and/or financially. it causes me to retreat
within myself and stop moving forward, Which
for lack of a better word just sucks!
It sucks feeling like your a mouse among men,
Your just the mud on another person's boot or
a ghost in the world of the living...
Like you're not enough.
Like nothing will ever be enough to compare.
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-And that's the crux, Dood, "Compare" I can't
help but to in possible one of the most
unhealthy ways possible.
It's not that I see this as a competition,
Heck if I did I'd be a little better off.
No, I think of it as:
"Wow, they're doing this AND that, they put
a lot of work to get there, what are you doing,
are you even trying?"
Completely discounting every single thing
I've done up to this point because-
"That's nothing compared to what this guy is doing, What you made an animation?
so did they, and do you see the praise and validation they're getting? Do you
really think you can have that?"
A Cyclone of negativity and a maelstrom of
malice toward peeps I don't even know, Envy
that's in no way constructive only Self-destructive, Dood.
All be it I have gotten better at bringing
myself out from it by muting what got me,
both figuratively and literally.
(My block list is ever-expanding =‿=)
Recentering myself by not focusing on
anything in particular and doodling on
impulse and for myself rather than
other's validation.
Though if I know one thing about me,
it's that I'm not strong enough for that to last forever.
I would very much appreciate your guys thoughts on this
and for the select few that understand where I'm coming from-
How do you doods deal with Envy?
Tl;DR
Please read, Dood, It's juicy I promise. T‿T)