Has anyone else ever felt like they have been hiding behind a mask for so long that your not really sure whats behind the mask anymore? Because I amstarting to feel this way and Iit scares me.

Morrighan said:
Has anyone else ever felt like they have been hiding behind a mask for so long that your not really sure whats behind the mask anymore? Because I amstarting to feel this way and Iit scares me.

Yes.

And I can say with reasonable confidence:
What is behind the mask, is another mask.
IME usually somewhat less fixated or suboptimal than the previous one.

What really scares me is thay most days I feel like i cant take it off.

You mean in regards to anonimity?

Can't say for myself, really. But that's actually quite deep.

No, I mean that some day I cannot tell what is the mask and what is me.I made the mask because I was scared, but now even when I want to its really hard to separate myself from it.

Morrighan said:
What really scares me is thay most days I feel like i cant take it off.

Personally I would suggest that means that you are excessively habituated to it (or possibly even obsessive about it -- can't say for sure, not having met you IRL). And of course you can't change habits overnight. But I have found that planning circumstances in which it just isn't possible to perform the habit helps. In my case, that has involved putting myself under enough pressure/demands that I have no time left to even think about pretending, but not so much that I totally freak out. (IOW, arranging things so I can't think about doing things or what to do, but can only do it.)

That's how I understand it, as a matter of replacement: acquiring something more important to concern yourself with than whatever particular habit of pretense you are troubled by, and keeping it up long enough to partially displace your old habit.

That reminds me of one of my favorite quotes. "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." --Oscar Wilde

I try to keep it real as possible. I don't like being something I'm not. I like being myself

Oddly enough I do the same, even though you habituate with time.
That's why I love internet, you can be your true self here!
(and also find great furry porn :p)

I try to be as "unmasked" as possible, but you act differently with different people all the time.
These are generalizations but... You're more reserved around your parents, more silly with your best friend, more professional around your boss, etc. It's unavoidable

This thread is starting to make me want to go back and play Persona 4 again

The fact is that no one survives this world without some kind of a mask. And that mask we all build for ourselves by deciding what we wish to hide. Of course societys demands are in a great role in this all. But we all have to hide something.

I used to feel pretty masked before, but nowadays its easier. I guess I learned to accept myself. I learned to separate what I have to be and what I am. I don't really know what more to say to you Morrighan, but know that you are not alone. And the mask becomes lighter the more you carry it. Atleast that is how I feel.

This thread has gone off the #deep end.

Also, do you bathe with the mask on? Because if its latex or something, it might like, suction on your face...

I know that iprobably sarcasm, but moon moon metaphorical mask.

No one knows who I was until I put on the mask....

RustyNails said:
No one knows who I was until I put on the mask....

Makes me think of the watchman Rorschach, who called his actual face his mask and his super hero nah his face. Cool character.

#2deep4me

This was covered in a paragraph or two from one of my business courses. I wish I still had access to that textbook, so that I could screenshot the relevant page. It's called multiple selves. If you're like me and attain solace through understanding, just Google that term and you will find lots of stuff. My instructor specifically called it "wearing multiple faces", and it's a very normal inclination.

That still doesn't address your concern, though. From my understanding, you are worried that your true identity is being crowded out by the faces you put on for personal necessity or out of respect for others, that you have become distant with your true self. I was in a similar identity crisis many years ago, except I ultimately couldn't stand the insincerity, emergent behaviors and accompanying undesirable feelings, and maintenance of it all. I resolved to abandon such highly manufactured behaviors in favor of struggling through life the hard way, even if that meant 10 or 20 years of dysfunction with no guarantees of improvement. In hindsight, that perspective framed the issue realistically. (So the answer is "yes").

Moving onward, your realization begs the question: what will you do about it now? Doing nothing is tantamount to accepting your shift in dominant selves, but that is a viable decision regardless. But before answering that, you should consider a simpler decision: now that you've recognized your situation, are you okay with it? The answer to that should guide future decisions when handling this issue, like a cascade. For that matter--and this goes very deep, right to the core--asking yourself "am I okay with this?" about anything is probably, in my experience, the most definitive, unambiguous way of connecting or reconnecting with your true self. The answer is moral, trumping convoluted reason and conflicting, dissonant selves. It is from that answer that you define your true self, one question at a time. In other words, any conflicts arising from your other selves can only be exceptions made to the rule (i.e., your moral answer), but never become the rule itself. At least, that's how I navigate that problem.

I hope that was comprehensible brain-to-text. I could fill that out with several more paragraphs, but I tried to give a more condensed explanation rather than include all the distracting yet vital introspection.

Just thought I'd share this)