The Smile

Have you ever created something that you are not proud of – that you can see all the errors in it and doesn't feel like you put your all into it? You can't go back, start over, and redo it because you have a deadline and have to give it to another. So you are stuck with your "mediocre" creation, and you feel terrible about it. You feel like you failed, and you are doubting yourself as a creator. You present the finished piece to the other and await their response. You are not sure if they would like it or hate it. You hope that they don't see the off energy the piece gives off or the errors that only YOU can see. You remain silent and gloomy as you await their reaction. The client responds with a smile and a happy tone. They love the piece so much and congratulate you on an amazing job. They walk away with the piece, happy and content. You feel a small lift from your shoulders. You created something that made the other smile and feel happy, something that you felt was terrible and worthless. You made the other smile, and that is a reward for a job well done.

I believe that every creator, no matter what field, goes though this. They create something for themselves or another, but when the creation is near completion, they start to see how much it looks terrible and not what they wanted. It could be a mixture of them not in the right groove, using wrong tools, not seeing any growth, having an off day, or something else that would hinder them to create something they would see as amazing. You feel like a failure, and everyone will see all the errors that you, the creator, only see. You are the creator AND the critic of. Only you can see what is good about it and what is wrong with it – things that only you would see and hate yourself over while others don't know what you are talking about.

The purpose of what you create is to make yourself happy and proud. You want to stand by your masterpiece with pride and joy, knowing that you created something that went beyond your limitations and imagination. If it is for someone else, it's for the same reason. You want to make something that makes others feel good about what you created as well as yourself. You want to bring out that positivity in others with your talent and see how much they cherish and respect what you do. Those positive vibes fuel you to continue to create for yourself and/or for others (as well as payment for living and recognition/advertisement).

Keep on creating. Don't doubt yourself as a creator because there are others outside who love what you do and what you can make out of nothing.